Change

The contract is sold, the two weeks have been put in at work, packing has been started and my life here in Logan is being wrapped up. I will soon be a resident of Idaho again. In order to show my feelings I have compiled a few songs....ha ha of course right?!



Alright this one I found on a friend's facebook page and absolutely LOVE it! I am returning home because it's what I feel I need to do in order to move to the next step in my life.


"Tell the world I'm coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes. I'm coming home." I am ready for a new fresh start and even though going home may not seem like a logical place to do that. where better for a person start over and find themselves than at home?




I haven't been myself I feel lately. I haven't been very happy, the only time I am happy is when I am at home, and I resent having to come back to Logan every time. I feel like I have grown here and become part of the person I need to be, but this is no longer the place for me. My plans and life has changed, and going home is what I need to do now.



I can't really describe why this song explains what I am feeling, except that I am going to what will help me from "the sky falling", of sorts.



Then there is the man, the one who has been around since I moved here. The one who slowly tore me apart. He may have/ had feelings for me or maybe not. At one point I thought I meant something to him, but slowly I have come to my senses and realized if I did he wouldn't treat me the way he does and would have stepped up to the plate years ago. But no, he didn't he just went out with girl after girl, because I guess I was never good enough. At one point he even made the comment that he hopes he gets married before me, because he would be bored and lonely without me. Even after I told him I was moving and he threw a fit, he still didn't do anything. Absolutely nothing. What a way to win over a girl eh? To show that she's not even worth fighting for. So I am moving home, I am going to start anew in every part of my life. Especially when it comes to men.



I made the decision long ago that I was going to move home, I just didn't tell anyone till a week ago. I have wanted to be there for a long time. I feel being here I am unproductive and waiting for something that will never happen. By moving home(as silly as this sounds) I feel as though I am taking hold of the reigns, I am finally standing up and doing something instead of staying stagnant in this town.



I came here to further my life, to fly, to conquer, to prosper, and to rise. Lately, I just don't feel any of this happening, I feel almost as though I am being dragged back instead of walking forward.



So, even though things didn't work out with above man, this song gives me hope. Because I know that I will find someone who is ten times the man he is, a man who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. ha ha I know this is sort of a sad song, but for some reason I don't see it that way. I just realize that I can find someone better. I can leave this all behind me and move on in confidence.

So that does it for music that sums up my feelings for moving and some of my reasons for doing such. So I leave you with a song of hope, hope that maybe I will be able to find a man who wants to be with me, and will actually stand up and do something about it. Heartbreak always heals, and I will always be able to find love again.