Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Favorite Flowers

Calla Lilies


and Orchids :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Will they really take care of me? Love me like I wanna be?

ha ha big news. I have a new crush. Shocker, I know. But he is cute. And truly sweet. And I am excited and petrified for the possibilities! why you ask? Well there is quite the story behind the past of this man, myself, his best friends and sister. I will let you all use your imagination and come up with a possible scenario. I feel like the story you come up with should be good enough you would read it in a book, because the truth is that good. Have fun creating, because I won't be telling the story any time soon!

On another note, the Dorkus came to visit this weekend and it was completely epic! We set off the fire alarm 4 different times, got amazing shopping deals, made some delicious and terrible food, enjoyed the sabbath day to the fullest, and enjoyed good company!

That's all I have to say really. except I love my friends and family. I cannot get over how blessed I am to have them...each and every one of them.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

If only life were REALLY like the movies

ok. So I am watching this movie...
The man asks a woman to grab a drink. She agrees. The man takes her to a garden (Yes! A garden full of lush flowers! Complete with a cute little fence and entrance way!) and they drink lemonade and plant flowers. (ADORABLE!)
The woman says "looks like its going to rain", man already has the umbrella out and ready.
The man asks woman out for dinner, and he pulls up in his Ford Mustang to a ten in the mountains for a romantic picnic dinner.
Then after man swoons the woman with sweet compliment after compliment he pulls her in and kisses her!
Really?! Where is mine?! No man is truly that way!
I totally want a man who is going to surprise me with flowers on a whim. Not one who only gives me flowers on valentines day. And I don't want roses, I want my favorite flowers.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


I hate love! I hate Valentine's day! I wish someone would get rid of it! I don't want to date! I don't want to have anything to do with stupid men!
....Did you just see that guy?! He is soo good looking!
....Ugh I am so sick of men! They are all creeps!
...So I really like him he gives me butterflies! Ha make a move? I couldn't! I get far too nervous about these kind of things! I doubt he even likes me!
...does he like me? I wonder if he ever would? he is pretty cute though....the possibilities are kinda intriguing.
...ugh! why can't I have a date for Valentines?! No guys really like me. Why can't it just work out for me for once?!
...I so love the single life, I can look and flirt with hot men all I want. I also seem to get more free stuff, and things always seem to get done for me.
...AHHHH! I am so sick of the dating game! When will it end?!
....ok there is no way that I could ever be in a relationship I love flirting with random men far too much!

Ok, alright your all wondering what is going on. This is the conversation I had in my mind today. It lasted a total of maybe three minutes but nevertheless, I did go back and forward like that. Its days like this where I think I may be Bipolar....

Sunday, February 6, 2011


"Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come."

I want to fall in love! I want to spend the rest of my life with someone! I want a man I am happy to wake up to! A man where time seems to float away when we are together! I just want someone to love ME to truly love me!

But at the same time, I have absolutely no desire to date. not one. I don't want to hang out with men, I don't want to cuddle and I don't want to kiss anyone. I just don't.

I hope to find some middle ground soon so my mind and heart no longer have to be at war with each other.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


Even though I feel I have been a roller coaster of emotion the last week. I think I have finally made it back to happiness. I know that I will find a perfect guy for me one day. I feel good to know I can still make heads turn, so really there is nothing to worry about. Life will work out eventually. I have decided to just relax and enjoy the ride. Finally, I am starting to grasp peace again. And let me tell you I LOVE IT! Life is good. I am blessed. I am wonderful :)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Ok I loved this song the first time I heard it. And I love the music video just as much.
forewarning, the name of the song can be offensive, and the video is graphic. But I like the deeper meaning to it all.
******* Perfect - P!nk
Also, another warning. This is the edited version of the song and music video, in case you search it yourself.

"Happiness hit her like a train on a track. Coming towards her, stuck, still no turning back."

I would like to thank Allie for this song I heard on her blog.

Like I have said many times before when I am in pain, happy, sad, mad, etc. I turn to music for comfort. Music always seems to have the answers and the words to comfort me. Recently I have felt completely worthless yet priceless, stupid and wrong, but glorious and genius, feeling like I have made the right choice while being sick to my stomach over the decision made, and so on. Music has helped me feel at peace in the midst of all the turmoil inside of me.

Moving on is never easy, and no one ever said it would be. But when it comes down to it, having the courage to move on is key. God sent us here to have trials, to make us stronger and more educated. At this time in my life, I feel like I have learned so much, and even though I may be weak I feel stronger than I ever have been before. I know that I will only continue to grow and become stronger. As sad as I am to put the past behind me I know it must be done. I will be ok, my heart will mend, and I will find my prince charming one day. And hopefully one day he will be able to move on and find another woman to fall in love with. Because as much as he could have been happy with me, I never could have been truly happy with him.

"The dog days are over.The dog days are done. The horses are coming. So you better run.....Leave all your loving, your longing behind. You can't carry it with you, if you want to survive."
So I am on the run again. Leaving all the pain, loving, and longing behind.

Dear Future E.B.F.

I am not asking you to be perfect. I am not going to expect you to do everything I ask. I don't expect you to succeed in everything you try.
But I do expect you to try. I expect you to put forth your best effort in everything you do. I am just asking you to respect and value me. I am asking you to value time with me and not spend it frivolously on video games. I expect you to understand when something means a lot to me. To listen to me when I talk, and to respect my decisions.
I don't think that's much to ask for in an eternal best friend, and once I find you, I know you will be worth it.