one day?

I want to fall in love. I want this...

I am on TOP of the World!

...And ain't nobody gonna get me down! :)
Ya know those days that just make everything worthwhile? Today was one of those days. I love feeling loved, I love random guys walking by me and complimenting me on how good I smell. I love way cute guys sitting next to me in institute and looking over at me every 3 minutes. I love the gospel and being able to go to institute :) I love not being able to stop smiling cuz I know everything is working out the way it should! I love getting ride of jerks, and love it being pointed out to me that they are jerks and that in no way do they deserve me :) I love my friends and how they are always there willing to help me, even when I don't want to hear what they have to say! I especially LOVE my parents! They are wonderful, and I don't think I could ever express my gratitude to them. I love the fact that I have been lucky enough to have recieved the trials I have, because without them I wouldn't be who I am, I wouldn't know my full potential, I wouldn't know what direction to take and I wouldn't know the kind of man who is worthy of me. So I guess I am just very grateful for everything I have been given, good and bad :)

Now Accepting Applications

If you do not meet any of the requirements, no harsh feelings, feel free to rip up your application and carry on with your life.
Name________________________
Age_______________
Birth Date ___/____/____
*If you are not in between the age of 21-26 please take your application to the counter, take your piece of candy and leave.
Current job________________________
Major/graduated in______________________
* If you haven't been to college and are not planning on attending please take your application to the counter, take your piece of candy and leave.
Hobbies_________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
*If in your hobbies it did not include hunting, fishing, or being outside please take your application to the counter, collect your candy and leave.
Have you ever used a girl as a "Friend with Benefits" or a "NCMO" Yes___ No___
*If you answered yes to the above, please rip up your application and learn how to treat a woman.
Have you been on a mission? Yes_____ No_____
If answered yes please specify where ________________________
If answered no please specify why__________________________
_________________________________________________
*If the above answer had anything to do with laziness or girls, rip up your application and figure out whats truly important in life.
Do you feel that it is ok to tell a woman/girl what to do? Yes____No_____
If a woman resists you do you feel it is ok to overpower her?
Yes_____ No____
Do you ever convince a girl/woman to do what you want, only to benefit yourself?
Yes____ No_____
Do you expect your wife to cater to your every need once your married? Yes___ No___
Have you ever served in the capacity of Elder's Quorum President and feel you are entitled to something special because you served in this calling? Yes_____ No____
Do you wear white sunglasses and think your hot wearing them? Yes___ No____
*If you answered yes to any of the above questions, rip up your application and consider getting a clue, because you are a HUGE tool and don't deserve any woman.
Do you open doors for every girl/woman? even when not on a date? Yes____ No____
Are you honest about everything Yes______ No_______
Would you consider yourself a gentleman? Yes_____ No______
Do you treat your mother with the utmost respect?
Yes______ No______
Do you know how to laugh and have a good time? Yes_____ No_____
*If you answered no to any of the above and are willing to change, I may be willing to help you. Please continue further for me to make my assessment.
Please insert current picture of yourself here...





What kind of vehicle do drive? ___________________
Is this vehicle paid off? Yes______ No______
If no, how much do you still owe on said vehicle_________________
If you drive a truck would you be willing to let me drive it?
Yes___ No____
*If you answered no to the above question, rip up your application and leave.
Are you good at money management? Yes_____ No_____
*If answered no....we can work on it together.
Can you speak any other languages? Yes_____ No______
If not are you willing to learn new languages? Yes______ No_____
NOW, If you have made it this far I commend you, and if you can answer this final question your more than welcome to proceed to the counter to be further interrogated, which may result in the obtaining of my phone number.

Are you temple worthy? Yes_____ No______
If not are you working on becoming that way? Yes____ No_____
*If you answered yes to either question please stand up and make your way to the counter where someone will be waiting to question you on your application to make sure you were honest in your answering of all the above answers.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I like to listen to music that makes me numb. Numb from feeling hurt, anxiety, pressure, stress, and fear.

I like to listen to song like these to forget about life...(side note they have to be played loud)
The Diary of Jane- Breaking Benjamin
Beating Hearts Baby- Head Automatica
The Road I'm On- 3 Doors Down
Whose Going Home with You Tonight- Trapt
Fight For all the Wrong Reasons-Nickelback


The thing is, the lyrics describe exactly what I am feeling, so I am not really numb at all....

Shaz Monkeys

"I really do think you look beautiful. You have a great smile and a personality that makes my day go great no matter what."
As flattering as the above statement is...I am still not interested. And as I struggled to find something to respond with, I realize I have told you this and you know I am interested in someone else and yet you still try to win me over? I don't understand it, and I quite possibly never will. If I like someone who tells me they aren't interested I move on and forget about them...It's that simple. Which brings me to another point, once you have told me that you can't come back and say you wanna date me when you have realized how amazing I am, cuz I am already long over you. Yes, this does happen quite often and while I used to appease the other party and give a second chance I no longer do this, cuz there was a reason things didn't work out in the first place. In my life a man can flatter me till he is blue in the face and if I am not interested in him or over him it will get him no where.
Onto another similar topic, I really do have commitment issues and when a guy starts to mention things that equal seriousness I tend to push away. " oh yeah ****** told me the story about your dog stalker at family dinner tonight"...."wait in front of your entire family??!!?" "Yeah, it was so funny, my dad started to ask who you were and stuff"...."so your entire family?!" almost like that interest lost. Granted I am still somewhat interested but more leery and far more flighty. Especially when things like that seem to creep up in such a short time of us "hanging out".
So once again, I have backed myself into the corner, where I can continue with the flow of things or run. I feel like running. Even though I feel like running is the wrong decision, its the only decision that will keep me from getting hurt. So here comes another "break time" we will see how long this lasts....