Thursday, March 31, 2016

Squint Until You See The Beauty

Isn't it funny how you've decided that your life will be one way and then a year later it's completely different than you ever imagined. A year ago I was newly engaged about this time. I thought I had life all figured out (As if anyone ever really  does). I was positive of what I wanted my life to become. I thought I had everything that I had ever wanted and dreamed about.  Most importantly I was convinced that I knew what the rest of my life was going to consist of, and I was ok with it. Now I look back and am not sure how I was willing to compromise in the areas I was forced to.

Over the last 8 months I've realized it's not healthy to want to be someone's saving grace. To want to be the reason why they choose to change. Over the past 8 months I've realized what a dysfunctional relationship does to the people in it. The repercussions are not short lived. They are things you bring to the table in a new relationship. Sometimes it makes it so difficult, the baggage that we carry with us from the past. It's frequent that I find myself wishing I could change the past or do things differently. But what would I have learned then? How would I have ever been prepared for a person to walk into my life who I can truly be myself with. Because that's all any of us want, is to be accepted for who we are. And let's be honest, I'm a whole lot of crazy, and it takes someone equally as crazy to enjoy life as much as I do.

I wouldn't trade this past year of my life for anything. I have grown more this past year than I ever thought possible. I've found that I am capable of great things, and sometimes very scary things. This beautiful life has emerged from all the trials and heartache. The best part is I have gained the best friend I could have ever asked for who accepts me and all my crazy. It truly is a beautiful life sometimes you just have to squint through the hard times to see it.

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