Wednesday, August 10, 2011

RESPECT...I got to have a little respect!

“For a princess is a delicate thing, delicate and dainty as a dragonfly’s wing. You can recognize a lady by her elegant air, but a genuine princess is exceedingly rare.”

Many Moons Ago- Once Upon a Mattress

As long as I can remember I have always wanted to be the epitome of classy. I always try to dress classy and sophisticated, never trampy or sloppy. I also try to make my actions and speech evoke such class. Now I am not perfect, as no one is, but I have doubted my “class” as of late. Because much like the quote below states if you have to tell people you’re a lady, you are not portraying yourself as such. The last couple of weeks I have had to enforce respect from men. This is where I doubt my class, because if I have to tell a man I am a lady who deserves to be respected and treated as such, then I must not be portraying myself as such?

I had a conversation about all of this and much more with a dear friend. We talked for several hours about things that perturbed us about men we date and interact with. After a time of discussion we weren’t able to pinpoint the cause, as I am sure there are many different causes, but we did think of a few things, that can so simply be avoided and would lead to ladies being respected by men. One of the causes we decided upon was movies and media. When men watch movies that they shouldn’t they start to become desensitized to the sacredness of a woman’s body. They slowly loose respect for women and treat them more as objects than companions. Even some video games now degrade the female form, it’s repulsive. In my dating “career” it is easy for me to see after one date what kind of a person the man is. How? In a matter of 2-3 hours no matter how much a man “fakes it” he will slip up once by making a crude joke, putting you in an awkward situation, not opening a door, walking in front of you instead of beside you, and/or disregarding you.

I was talking to my mother the other day, telling her how I had gone on another first date but that like many others he would not be getting a second date. She was puzzled as she looked at me and said, “Maybe you just aren’t giving them enough of a chance, and you need to give them a second date to see if they are any better.” The truth is though, normally the first date is as good as it gets. My father on many an occasion has told me that dating is as good as it gets, if you don’t like who they are when your dating them, there is no way they are going to get better if you marry them. I have found that most men are on their best behavior and make sure they hide their flaws on a first date and then by the second date they have become their true selves,(hence the reason I rarely let a man have a second date).

Now I am not saying it’s all the men’s fault, because it is not. Women have a role to play in this as well. We as women need to stand up for ourselves. We have only become viewed as objects because we allowed it to happen. How often do you see men running around in short, tight and skimpy clothing? Yes, while it happens, it is rare. When a man disregards you as a human being, stand up and tell him. Don’t let a man get away with walking all over you and thinking its okay, because it is not. Now I am not saying he has to be perfect, life isn’t a fairy tale, but we as women do deserve respect. Respect from ourselves, each other and men. Stand up for yourself, learn to respect yourself and demand it.

Life isn’t like the movies. You are not the exception, you are the rule, live your life as such. Men, respect women and seek out a companion you can spend the rest of your life, not a hot piece of tail you can show off to your friends. Women, don’t look for prince charming look for the man who will love and respect you.

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