Well, not everything always works out. Sometimes we don't get what we want in life. Although, often times what we thought we wanted really wasn't what we wanted at all. The last three months of my life have been an honest struggle. Although there were many happy moments, I feel like the bad often outweighed the good. No matter how hard I tried or how much I gave, it was never enough. I've felt defeated, crushed, depressed, heart-broken, angry, and many other sad adjectives. I've literally given my all, everything I had. I don't think there is strength in hanging on to a relationship that the other person clearly wants to have nothing to do with anymore. It's sad. But sometimes the only strength is in walking away. I deserve to be a priority in someones life. A person that comes before five siblings, their spouses and two parents, not after. I deserve to have a significant other who will stand up for me. I deserve a partner who sees me as an equal, and is willing to walk through life by my side.
Needless to say, I'm no longer getting married and I'm okay with that. In fact I think making the decision to walk away only made me a better person. All I want to do in this life is help people and progress myself. I wasn't progressing anymore, and on top of that I think I was losing myself in trying to make a relationship (that would never work) work. I deserve more. So here's to new adventures. Also, I have to say how grateful and blessed I am to have so many people who love and care about me. I appreciate everything that everyone has done for me. You are all amazing.